One of my aunts, decently educated, is looking for proposals to get her son married. A wonderful person he is and for sure, his wife in future would possibly not have regrets. Today, I got to talk to that aunt of mine and I asked if she is for doctor-daughter- in-law, as normally the trend would be. She has a big NO, not just for a doctor daughter-in-law but a working DIL in general. For once, I raised my eye-brows, but looks like she has her intentions clear.
"If my DIL happens to work , I would always be entangled with house-hold work, now cooking for son, later would have to for DIL too. How long can I work",she said. I had no answer for that.
An expectation of getting untangled from house-hold only through DIL and not from son for whom she has done her best for years is right or not, I really don't know...
Well, I really hope a girl who whole-heartedly wants to be a home-maker becomes his soul-mate. As long as the decision is own, "Home-making" is a career in itself. But if enforced,a slow poison.
I am not on a conclusion that the decision is right or not, because she did not expect women not to work, but she has her specifications and maybe has rights to specify too. But, for some reason, it deeply saddens me that women are channelized into the physical-labour stream than the mental-labour one."If my DIL happens to work , I would always be entangled with house-hold work, now cooking for son, later would have to for DIL too. How long can I work",she said. I had no answer for that.
An expectation of getting untangled from house-hold only through DIL and not from son for whom she has done her best for years is right or not, I really don't know...
Well, I really hope a girl who whole-heartedly wants to be a home-maker becomes his soul-mate. As long as the decision is own, "Home-making" is a career in itself. But if enforced,a slow poison.
What of economic-independence and empowerment??
5 comments:
Doesn't the son have a say in what he expects? Isn't that also important ?
@Ram,
From what I heard, 'As you wish, mom' was his response!
If he also believes in having a house-wife or he has no opinion or he doesn't mind with this or that, I am not sure.
To me, as long as the wish is of gal's own, no concern else unfortunate.
i am with u on that, its should the girl's decision whether she wants to be a housewife or not... i know a lot SAHM who have given successful career to raise their kids cause they believe thats the best way...
but the problem i have with is with the mil, if she wants to get away with the cooking responsibility she needs a cook not a dil... that is the point of view which has to go
>To me, as long as the wish is of gal's own, no concern else unfortunate.
Yes I too agree. It should be the girl's decision and 'he' must be able to explain to his mom, the decision to work should be upto his future wife.
@Monika,
Maybe generations have to go for a MIL to get that outlook in life. Hope we can achieve it.
@Ram,
That would be the best to expect :)
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