Friday, August 03, 2007

A milestone, not the destination!!

Yesterday morning,I happened to sit next to a lady who was an english lecturer by profession in a reputed college , of which I got to know a little later. As both the acts of my pulling a book out of my bag to read and her attempt to strike a conversation with me coincided, she consciously withdrew from interfering in my business. Since I too thought, her intent for talking could not have been any different from the bus-pastime talks that ranged from the the heavy traffic to the scorching heat to rising prices of commodities to the driver's slow driving to the ticket the conductor never issued etc, I too didn't volunteer to ask what she wanted to know and left it at that and got to my turning the pages of the book. As she was seated between me and a college guy, opportunity had knocked her twice and this time, she did strike a conversation with the college guy. There ends my act of reading the book. Somehow lecturers' talks have always diverted my attention extended towards my books, not any different this time too!! Hence I suspended my reading with the blind hope that she would alight in sometime.
If I have eavesdropped, blame it on the lady's decibel-potent talks. I could not help but overhear her conversation with that poor college lad. Her viva-voce with him started from his career to his hometown to his qualification. Then she did her bio-data delivery and came to the crux of the matter. She had to go to Mysore and was here for examination paper evaluation. Since she was not very familiar with Bangalore,she wanted some directions the City railway station to catch a train to her place (No PJs here that of course, to a railway station, people go to catch a train!!... not really, some go to welcome people too!!). After she got the directions,thanks to the heavy traffic, she still was left with so much time to talk that she had to dig topics. Since the college lad was a computer trainee, she assured his belief that it's a good one to make bug bucks instantly and said that she advised many of her students also to go for the computer stream. She is virtually a career-consultant too, I thought. After this, came the fact that her brother's daughter,studying her 12th now,who had secured 95% in her 10th standard board exams,is exceptionally intelligent. That guy curiously asked Ms.Career-consultant which professional course the girl wanted to pursue after 12th. For her scores, Medical or Engineering course is quite possible, he suggested. An instant NO was her response to his suggestion. Such expensive courses for girls are totally uncalled for,she said!! I was disappointed to hear this, more so from a college lecturer.This is just one case, previously too,I had seen some of my friends who could not cherish dreams of being engineers or doctors or other professionals of the chosen stream for reasons that can vary, but all based on the common fact that they are girls:
1. Parents were not ready to spend for such expensive courses for a child who would eventually go to someone else's house .(This feeling from people who are economically sound is disgusting to know).
2. Parents could not afford to spend for education as well as wedding and since wedding takes the inevitable priority,education takes a toll (this is quite pitiable to know).
3. Parents who are economically very sound but consider that studying such courses taking all the pains is of no use when no one is waiting for her earnings now and in future too, as her (definitely status-matching)husband would take care of her necessities ( Economically self-sufficient, but mentally deficient , you see. What do we say of such people who can't figure out the difference between career interests and the money earnings).
4. Parents not very sound economically, but give importance to education and quite aware of the education loans provided, are quite apprehensive of who's going to repay the loans in the future. (This is quite understandable,not many guys would like to marry girls who carry debts along, right?)
There could be many more reasons, but all I want to say is that let Marriage for a girl be just another milestone of her journey,not the destination,not the sole purpose!!
If my parents thought on those lines, I could not have been an engineer, nor my sister a doctor. I don't say that one has to be an engineer or a doctor, but let them be allowed to pursue their interests putting the thoughts of marriage at abeyance until their careers are shaped. Well, if marriages turn out to be so dreaded and life-time-achievements for girl's parents,then they are not to be blamed,right? Down with the society that savours on the pains that go into pulling off a wedding event!! If only wedding was considered just another casual event, maybe the intelligence quotient and brain power of India would increase enormously,no wonder fulfilling many a girl's dreams, which now die even before they bloom!

11 comments:

Unknown said...

good one Rashmi...
I relly feel pity on the girl,who has scored 95% with all her efforts.
I really hate ,when educated females
only become the barriers for Girl's
education..

Unknown said...

good one !!

Ramprasad said...

Very true. The practice still exists where parents make decisions for their children, from selecting the the course and career and even selecting their life partner. Until this changes it's going to be difficult
- ramprasad.livejournal.com

Rashmi Kantharaja said...

@Deepa,
I too second your thought wrt women not supporting women's ambitions,but you never know if they have any hold at all in getting their wishes executed even if they wished to do good!!

@Anupama,
Thanks dear :)

@ramprasad,
The point that you highlighted there of course holds weightage.The solution looks so distand.Pretty unfortunate.

Anonymous said...

Girls and Boys should be treated equally.

The Restless Me said...

@Milan,
Absoultely true, no doubt!

HaRi pRaSaD said...

That was a good post Rashmi...

Rashmi Kantharaja said...

@Hari,
Thanks :)

Sanjaya Srivatsan said...

There are so many such instances, that life shows it's philosophy to us and I think you found one in your post here.

Reading your second post and think you have a nice writing style.

Sanju

Rashmi Kantharaja said...

@sanju,
Thanks :)

pushpa said...

Good read & its thought provoking Rash.....
-Pushpa