The Long and short of it

So has the tread been, walking at pace, side by side all through the journey, of glorious three years.

Come to think of it, it has been a rapid trip and victorious one at that!

Trust me, he agrees that he is as happy as I am to be together. Isn't it evident in the snap? :P

No, my cooking hasn't reduced him to bones! He is into rigid fitness regime,of late :D

On a serious note, I am totally amazed at the contrast our marriage has offered.We are bonded together, yet independent. Free to think and be.We are vulnerable alone, yet strong together. And you know what, I don't fear my husband a bit.  He might :P Although I threaten him against it ... :D

Well, if I write this post ten days after the day I had to, doesn't it prove that people in love think slow, if at all! Considering that, ten days' delay is reasonable, isn't it ?

Standing Instructions

Do not go-kart in front of your parents.

If I were sad that the four laps that were given to me got over in a flicker, someone out there was relieved for the same reason, that there were just 4 and it got over in a jiffy! My Father, you know.

To parents, kids remain so forever!

Fact is, kids grow, parents don't seem to ;).
Sometimes(when not go-karting, that is), that very fact is such a pleasure!

Festival of sorts

Yesterday, I announced to my husband that two incompatible entities were going to come together the next morning.
The "incompatible" tag is very much an opinion of his, with respect to him.  He hates them single as much as seeing them together. It was going to be incompatibility squared!! He wouldn't care if they were incompatible to eachother, but to him they sure are.

He: " I am going to be on leave tomorrow, for sure".

Me:  "Huh??!! Why? Monday Blues? "

He:   "Isn't there a food-festival happening at home!!?? How can I imagine going to office??!!"

Me"   "Grrrrr"

Well, it was the coming together of Chickpea and cabbage in the curry!!

I have decided to continue the celebrations, much to his dismay.Tomorrow, it is most certainly going to be beet-root's day out ( of the refrigerator)!!

Stress maker or breaker?

Lady: You know what, you try to rule over me!

Man: No Baby, how can that be possible?

Lady: Enough is enough. I don’t want to compromise all the time.

Man: I totally agree.. but what is the problem?

Lady: Why do I have to always watch a sci-fi movie in which eyes pop out of some deadly creature having some stupid antennae and robotic body.

Man: When do I object to your watching anything?

Lady: Well.. you get to object something only if I watch,, I mean, if I get to watch!

Man: Ok.. take the remote.. all yours.

Lady: No.. I don’t want anyone’s mercy. Women don’t need mercy, they want equal rights!

[She gets up to walk out of the living room]

Man: What do you want me to do now?

Lady: Whatever.. like you care for my wishes. You have a bunch of those extra-terrestrials to

gape at !

Man: Ok.. come on.. cheer up, lets watch Comedy circus now.

Lady mumbles, Gosh! So much of emotional black-mail to watch a one hour show, once a week!!
Man: You said something?
Lady: No.. what's the theme for comedy today?

T.V is supposed to relieve one of stress, more often than not, does all else but that!

Loss or Gain?

Besides loss of hair, if you happen to discover the presence of grey hair, what should you attribute it to? The stress... of hair loss? or Age gain?

Boytalk

One of my colleagues is due to get married in a couple of months. When he announced the news to friends, a gang of guys surrounded his cube and started ragging him.

I was forced to EVEsdrop for the laughter was so loud to seek anyone's attention.

Gang leader : Congrats,man!
Colleague: Thanks.
Gang leader: Continue to be happy man [Echoed by a huge burst of laughter by married men!]
Colleague: So difficult to be happy is it?
Gang Leader: Well, it depends. Sometimes, it is difficult, sometimes, it is more difficult!!

I must admit, I laughed out loud hearing that. Can't stop imagining how my husband would be 'motivating' other bachelors to get married! Men will be men, huh?

English with Indian Tadka

Whoever belittles Indian-English accent, has to keenly notice that it has indeed a prime place in structuring English.
Why do you think "Especially" got coined as if "specially" wasn't enough?

Rakhi ka swayamvar

I knew it ! It could possibly have been none other than the Toronto Businessman. I always felt it was pre-cooked as one wouldn't want to risk their life by marrying any body turning up for a TV reality show. I still feel, she knew him before and wished to tie up with him and helped NDTV Imagine make a show out of it by gathering some set of folks!

Whatever, I must admit, I have watched the idiotic show , if not all, at least quite some episodes for the sheer fun that gave to see the pretentious bride-to-be!


When it was the D-day ( the latest one) of Rakhi's life to choose the groom, The emcee asked the gathering to stand up to wish the couple-to-be.

"Are people going to sing National Anthem that one has to stand up?" ,I said.

"No... it's a stand-up comedy!! That's why. Now, stop adding to the TRP of this funny show!", he said.

What an Idea?

Which is ideal to have? An Idea connection or a Motorola ring-tone?

Should you be reminded to "walk when you talk" or be told "Hello Motu(Moto)" every time you get call to remind you to lose weight and keep in shape? Or, an Idea connection with a motorola ring-tone, works just fine?

My husband was browsing through the ring-tones on his new phone to get a good replacement for the "Hello Motu", now that he is fed up of being called Motu on every single call .

What motivates you?

To come to work everyday, one most certainly needs motivation.
For today, it has been my new sandals. To 'come' , it sure motivated!

Hit or Miss?

He : I am missing you, my dear.

She: Really? Hmm..

He: Don't you?

She: No..

He: Huh? Don't you love me?

She: I love you more than myself.

He: But then, you don't miss me, huh?

She: No dear, I would 'miss' you if I ever felt that you were not with me. You are always in my heart, so near,how can I miss you?

He: Oh really? That's so sweet!! [ Hangs up and whispers," I guess, now I don't have to feel guilty that I wasn't really missing her!! Love mera hit hit, soniye" ]

:)

Dog-fights

A couple of days ago, one of our relatives visited us. When our dogs were lazing around on the floor on a Sunday afternoon,

Dad: These are our pets, Moti and Rakshi.

Relative: For how long have they been here?

Dad: Well, he is here (pointing at Moti) for 12 years and she (pointing at Rakshi) for 10 years.

Relative: Really? Nice, that's a long time. Out of curiosity, don't the dogs fight with each other?

Dad: No, they don't. They have been together for long, they know each other well.

Me : Come on, papa! If being together for long meant no fights, then no husband and wife should fight with each other. We need to give the doggies, their due credit.

Relative: Ha ha ha ...Point!

Dad: Hmmm....

Nano Black-mail

No, I don’t mean, ‘small’ blackmail.

Not sure, how helpful Nano has been/would be to others. To me, it indeed has been. After all, I got to steer the wheel of my Husband’s (taunt ,this is) car after 2.5 years!

All I had to say was “ Let me drive, or get me a Nano!!” . It worked!!

Had this major breakthrough in the automobile industry happened years ago, I wouldn’t have to write Rash driving? call xxxxxxxxxx

One to give up or not?

If I give up reading "Midnight's Children" (Booker of Bookers) after the 5th chapter,
should I call myself a person who gives up quickly or one who doesn't?!!!!

Taj and Recession

Recession might have made people think twice before heading for restaurants frequently, more so to the 5-star ones.

However, during recession, Hotel Taj would be the best one to visit!! Stunned??!! Well, let me tell you... there was a program on TV highlighting the standard and quality of services offered by Hotel Taj.Amazing!!

Another thing, of course most importantly , they have dishwashing machines! :D

Does that answer why I said, it's best to go to Taj to experience good service even with no money?? (I reiterate , they have dishwashers!!)

Laying hands off the matter!

Any working wife and husband would indeed talk of markets and their job security now, don't they?

Husband: Sun Microsystems has announced it finally!!

Wife: Citigroup did it too!!!!

Husband: Hmmm... so what does your company have to say?

Wife: No clue. Fingers crossed.

Husband: 'Wait and watch' is the mantra. No other go anyway.

Wife : True. So how are you going to take care of me after lay-offs?

Husband: ?????!!!!!!!

Whatever happened to gender-equality and equal opportunity? Exploiting the edge, huh? :D

Twice-fold Effect!!

As I belong a generation consisting of folks about to enter or who have just entered the matrimonial phase, I quite often get to hear of the match-fixing, negotiations, horoscope matching and if all succeed ,marriage.

Of all, to the phase of horoscope-matching, I have complete disapproval. Is the institution of marriage so simple that all one’s life, just the spouse is the entity the person deals with? Not really! If only horoscopes are important for compatibility checks, then why haven’t people realized, rather than checking the compatibility of the bride/groom-to-be, verifying that of saans-bahu will make Ekta Kapoor go bankrupt and restore sanity to the world.It’s quite unfortunate if the guy and girl like each other with the horoscope horror to dismantle their dreams.

As will the case be with many, marriage applicants will deny, parents will deny their denial. Looking for the right time of my absence, at time of my match-fixing, my mom had visited an astrologer with the horoscopes of Rags and mine. Just when I was back, here’s what she had to say,

Mom: Finally, I got the horoscope matching done.

Me: Come on, mama.

Mom: Shut-up! What do you know?

Me: Hmmm…

Mom: However, he said the compatibility is great.He said, that guy is the right person.

Me :oh!!

Mom: .... (Brimming with joy) ...and this is the right time to get married. If done so, everything will be twice-folded in your life.

Me: Huh? What about marriage then? That twice-folded too?

Mom: Shut-up! Won't you? He meant your happiness in life will increase.

Me: Looks like the Astrologer was right.

Mom: (Seeming quite victorious for having convinced me).. So finally you agree? Good.

Me: Of course, mama. You did say ‘shut-up’ twice. Twice-fold effect you see!!

Mom: God save Raghu!!

I was only kidding when I said that to her, quite an ugly joke that was. But my intent was to explain that not horoscopes, but hearts play a role in compatibility. Just ‘Put yourself in others’ shoes’ principle in life would lead to understanding anybody, not just the spouse. If I need to get compatible, I need to understand his priorities in life and so should he, right? Well, has there been any horoscopically-approved couple that hasn’t fought? That must be a wonder, I say.

Open Kitchen

Visitor Sandeep drops in to Aunt Revathy's house.

Aunt: Hey Sandeep, nice to see you.

Sandeep : Thanks Aunty. I came to invite you to my sister's wedding.

Aunt : That's pleasant news, Sandeep.

Sandeep : Yes Aunty.

Aunt: So where is your brother-in-law working?

Sandeep : Aunty,He is a software Engineer with an MNC.

Aunt : Excellent.
(She makes a move towards the kitchen)

Sandeep :No..no..Aunty, I just had my lunch and came.

Aunty: Come on Sandeep, eat little at our house too.

Sandeep :No Aunty, I am so full.

Aunty: Hmm...ok then...
(Aunt looks for Milk in the fridge )

Sandeep : No Aunty, no coffee too.

Aunty: Sandeep, how can I send you without giving anything?

Sandeep : Its perfectly fine, Aunty. Some other time , I will drop in .

Aunty : Ok, please do. Regards to your parents.

Sandeep : Sure, Aunty.


Open Kitchen does help, ain't it?

Safe Diwali

Yesterday, when Bipasha Basu wished a very safe diwali to the viewers of a certain channel, Rags,to respect her wish,instantly pledged not to watch her movies during Diwali!

Safe? Staying away from bad(?) movies or from 'hot' entities ???!!! Diplomatically said, ain't it?

Hmm...

Anything but......

Perchance,a channel telecasting the mythological serial "Ramayana" got honoured during our mindless channel browsing. The scene was that Hanuman goes to Lanka to convey Rama's regards to Sita. He does so and in return gets Choodamani as a mark of memory from Sita to Rama.

Rama: Hanuman,hope Sita is safe and doing alright.

Hanuman : Yes Lord, she is. She is fine but for the worry of not being with you.

Rama : Yes, I understand. I shall get her back very soon.

Hanuman: Ture Lord. By the way, here's the choodamani Sitadevi has sent through me to you.

Rama : [At his emotional best looking at the choodamani] Hanuman, I am grateful to you for having been a messenger for us.

Hanuman : The honour is all mine, Lord. I am ever-ready to do anything to the Lord of my heart.

Rama: Hanuman, please tell me what I can give you for the favour you have done...[This is where Rags pitches in, assuming that Rama's sentence was incomplete, he went on to complete it. As per him, This had to be Rama's dialogue,

Rama: Hanuman, please tell me what I can give you for the favour you have done, well, anything but for a site in Bangalore!!!]

Thankfully, Hanuman only asked for a place in Rama's heart and not a site in Bangalore!!

Perhaps,he must have understood the helplessness of his Lord, unsaid.